It's not my birthday YET.

Every year I tell myself that this year, I am going to let my birthday go by unnoticed. No reminders, no writing it on the calendar, no slyly slipping the fact that my birthday is in TWELVE HOURS into casual conversation. Yeah. This year it didn't take, either. 'My mom bought me a birthday rug!' and 'I have to go buy something to wear to my birthday!' were the only words that escaped my lips yesterday - overandoverandover.

So. Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm going to be 24, which seems old to me now. I'm upset because I feel like I really wasted my 'lucky year' [23 on the 23rd] - nothing really extraordinary happened. To be honest, this past year has been pretty fucking bad. [not with a p-h.]

Tony and I are both off today, so I've been instructed to decide what I want - whatever I want - and we're going to go buy it today. No restraints, no limits [uh. within reason. I can't spend more than we have...I've already tried that. A house! A million-dollar IKEA gift certificate! a pony!

I think that it proves what a loser I am that the first thing I want is a computer - which I desperately need - and after that...All I can think about is yarn. Do you have any idea how much yarn I could buy with that computer money? Sweetholyfuck. That's a lot of unfinished, ill-fitting sweaters right there.