Giant red crosses.
The Wedding in Kokomo: I spent the first thirty minutes glaring suspiciously at my copper-painted nails. The color looked so nice in the bottle. Tony assured me over and over that it was fine, but I still think it makes me look like a cut-rate Vegas showgirl.
The invitation said "dress casually". While our friends were being married, I was trapped behind an old lady with big, frizzy hair pulled back into pigtails by those thick, fuzzy hair ties that four-year-olds use. There were two little kids on either side of her. One was swinging a pigtail back and forth and the other was rubbing her arm. Poking through the back of her shirt, I could see the purple straps of a bikini tied into a bow. Next to me, this man in plaid pants with a matching plaid vest and a short-sleeved monogramed white collared shirt kept grinning at me. Even his camera was from the seventies.
The reception was dry. Tony and I sat in the corner under a giant, wooden cross. We found some cards and taught some girls I work with how to play asshole. I was having a little too much fun yelling "ASSHOLE" in the church. Another man I work with, a part-time minister came and sat with us so I, being sensitive to other's needs and emotions, changed the name to "anus". While we were trying to teach one of the girls how to say "sphincter" [she just couldn't say it. for some reason], I looked over and noticed that the whole time we had been playing, there has been a video camera not three feet away. The lens was pointed towards our newly-married friends. The microphone, however, was pointed towards us.
The best wedding present I've ever given.
The invitation said "dress casually". While our friends were being married, I was trapped behind an old lady with big, frizzy hair pulled back into pigtails by those thick, fuzzy hair ties that four-year-olds use. There were two little kids on either side of her. One was swinging a pigtail back and forth and the other was rubbing her arm. Poking through the back of her shirt, I could see the purple straps of a bikini tied into a bow. Next to me, this man in plaid pants with a matching plaid vest and a short-sleeved monogramed white collared shirt kept grinning at me. Even his camera was from the seventies.
The reception was dry. Tony and I sat in the corner under a giant, wooden cross. We found some cards and taught some girls I work with how to play asshole. I was having a little too much fun yelling "ASSHOLE" in the church. Another man I work with, a part-time minister came and sat with us so I, being sensitive to other's needs and emotions, changed the name to "anus". While we were trying to teach one of the girls how to say "sphincter" [she just couldn't say it. for some reason], I looked over and noticed that the whole time we had been playing, there has been a video camera not three feet away. The lens was pointed towards our newly-married friends. The microphone, however, was pointed towards us.
The best wedding present I've ever given.
posted by inveil | 9:28 AM
3 Comments:
Cut-rate Vegas showgirls are hot.
I miss you.
ok, here's the deal - when i get married... ehm if i ever get married, you have to ABSOLUTELY have to come to my wedding, only you have to teach EVERYONE how to play Asshole/Anus/Sphincter.
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