Do I look busy?

Late last week the bald man I email my school assignments to wrote me to tell me that my effort seems to be on the decline. Also, he noted, I need to complete one assignment every ten days for a year if I want to finish the Program.

So. Shit.

The only thing worse than the sinking feeling that I am failing is the panic that takes me when I spend yet another day NOT DOING ANY SCHOOL STUFF. I don't know what's wrong with me. I WANT to do the school stuff. I really do. But. I have so many other things to DO. For instance:

Taking pictures of myself wearing various animal hats and masks.

I really do find all this Montessori stuff fascinating. I love to read her biographies and essays. I love the science behind all of it. I love the idea that maybe one day I will be able to get a real, grown-up sort of job. But. There are SO MANY animal hats out there.

Today I got off work six hours early, which should have given me plenty of time for school stuff. But! I baked a cake. And cookie bars. And reorganized my yarn supply. And cleaned out two closets. And played/aborted four thousand games of medium-difficulty spider solitaire. Oh, but there's still lots of time left, right? Except! I have to make a sauce, some chicken, pasta, salad. Maybe another cake. Life is all about choices.

And. Avoiding work. No matter how much I actually like it. Don't tell the bald man.